Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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