my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
