barbara walters just said penis...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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