Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
