we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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