Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
