I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
