Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
