we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
