ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
