i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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