You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize