Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
