is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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