Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
