I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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