Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
