It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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