I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize