i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
