How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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