Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
