I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
