Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
