I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
