Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
