she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
