The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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