I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
