Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
