I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
