Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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