oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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