There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
