you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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