I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
high people should be assigned attendants
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
