how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
