i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize