she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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