he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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