I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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