Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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