is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
