How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
