This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
