i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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