We're like a lot better than the average bears
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
