Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
