TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
