As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
