I will die if light touches me.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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