saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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