I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
