She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
This is the high leading the old right now
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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