There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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