Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
