It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
