oh god the rape fog is back!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
