i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
