Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize