Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
