Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
