Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize