Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
