Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
