so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize