Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
