I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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