I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
