I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
